TODAY’S BIG STORY: The 'Jama Zone! I have never quite understood the paradox of children. I have observed that they attempt to be the most independent when they are in fact the most needy. They are the most endearing when they are the most aloof, and they are the most amusing when they are the most bored! Haha! So goes the contradiction of bedtime – the worst and best thirty minutes of the day. Bedtime is a routine as long standing as lullabies, and for children, bedtime is the ultimate paradox. Bedtime is the call to war that begins in the cradle.
Bedtime was a KING-SIZE issue for my three children; it still is. Even into their adult years, my kids relish a goodnight’s sleep, but they hate going to sleep. When the two youngest kids were toddlers, our oldest daughter would read a dozen Little Critter or Berenstain Bears books with them until the three of them fell asleep together in a full size bed. The girls finally outgrew the resistance, but their younger brother never did and never has. To this day, he absolutely hates bedtime! It’s never too late for one more movie or one more conversation or one more game.
On the other hand, I am Pajama Mama; I love everything about the 'Jama Zone! Years ago, when I first wrote this story, I actually thougtht about opening a small retail shop that specialized in everything bedtime. I thought it would even be a cool idea to wear pajamas to work! I enjoy soft pillows, clean sheets and comfy quilts. I fancy night lights, quiet voices and well-deserved peace. And I adore pajamas and house shoes! I could live and work in pajamas and house shoes! I love to shop for pajamas and house shoes! There is something about a pair of new pajamas and house shoes that makes you feel like you have really arrived…especially during the holidays and hospital stays. I remember when my youngest daughter was a toddler, she was given a long red night gown with a matching housecoat. She wore that gown until the long sleeves came to her elbows, and the long gown came to her knees!
I do not know the psychology behind my bedtime must-haves; however, I do know that my most treasured must-have – my absolute bedtime essential – is a book. Maybe I have outgrown the bedtime story, but as long as I live and read, I will always close my eyes with a book in my hand – which is probably why I love the ‘jama zone.
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THE ‘JAMA ZONE
“Kids, it’s bedtime! Time to get your ‘jamas on!”
BED ALERT! BED ALERT!
This is Captain Matt speaking! Prepare for countdown!
Special Agent P.J. (Pajama) Mama at Kitchen Command is giving the final orders!
We are now entering the ‘JAMA ZONE!
I will make contact with Deputy Dad to delay this mission for as long as possible.
“Dad, do we have to get ready for bed? We just started having fun!
Can we please stay up for thirty more minutes?”
Negative! Deputy Dad looks at Special Agent P.J. Mama who shakes her head.
Continue mission as planned! Pajama Mama says NO!
Attention! Attention!
Calling all crew members to Captain Matt’s bedquarters!
It is time to suit up for the bedtime battle ahead!
Baby Bonnie, you put on your battle booties and basic training pants.
Sergeant Wilkie, you take the camouflage briefs and armored tank top.
I’ll take the ‘Jama Zone combat suit!
The sheets are drawn, and we are ready for the tuck-and-snug tug-of-war!
Sergeant Wilkie, you are in charge of our newest recruit, Baby Bonnie.
She is still part of the infant-ry, and she is easily hypnotized with lullabies.
Make sure she stays away from warm bottles of milk,
P.J. Mama’s rocking chair and Deputy Dad’s recliner!
“Hey, kids, come to the kitchen. I have made you a warm bedtime snack.”
Our final food ration for the day – warm milk and oatmeal!
Crew, listen to your Captain!
This is not – and I repeat – this is not a bedtime snack.
Candy, cookies and chips are snacks!
This is top secret sleep food!
Sergeant Wilkie, I have some bad bedtime news.
This report just came in that Baby Bonnie is down for the night.
It happened in the high chair –
face down right in the middle of her oatmeal…not a pretty sight.
P.J. Mama has taken her to the baby bed barracks.
It’s just you and me.
We have to stick together like sleepless soldiers and stay awake!
“Matt and Wilkie, when you finish your snack, make sure you go to the bathroom.”
The next stop in the ‘Jama Zone – that scary little cubicle in the eastern sector.
Boot camp in the bathroom!
SCRUB YOUR HANDS!
WASH YOUR FACE!
COMB YOUR HAIR!
BRUSH YOUR TEETH!
Scrub-Clean-Wash-Comb.
Brush-Floss-Gargle-Rinse.
Brush-2-3-4!
Scrub-2-3-4!
Hang in there Sergeant Wilkie! It’s a dirty job, but we only have one stop left!
“Okay, boys, head to your beds, and I’ll come by and tuck you in.”
Sergeant Wilkie is worn out.
Clutching his battle-worn teddy bear and waving a cartoon-printed pillowcase,
he surrenders like a tuckered-out three-year-old.
The weary warrior has aborted the bedtime mission and gone under cover.
I am the only one still awake in the ‘Jama Zone.
I am the six-year-old survivor of the pooped troop,
and I have the snooze blues.
All systems are down. Only the night light is on.
At this point, there is just one thing that can keep me awake.
I reach under my bed, and I pull out a box.
My secret weapon against battle fatigue – twenty-eight ‘Jama Zone action figures!
Suddenly, the door opens, and I hide the box under the bed!
“Matt, are you still awake? Do you want me to read you a bedtime story?”
Oh No! What do I do now?
Reading bedtime stories is what make Special Agent Pajama Mama so special!
Not even the captain of this bedtime crew can stay awake when she enters the camp.
She is highly-trained in pillow talk operations, and she does not fail.
She takes her position on the edge of the bunk.
The sleeping quarters are quiet.
P.J. Mama is armed with my favorite book, and she begins to read,
“Once upon a time there was a little boy who discovered a wide-awake place where children always had great adventures, but they never, ever went to …
…sleep.
The 'Jama Zone is now secure. Special Agent P.J. Mama mission accomplished as she closes the book on another bedtime story.
Dianne ; )
Dianne ; )
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