Big Sigh...more than a month has passed since my last post. Either I can't seem to stop hustling and bustling long enough to write or my lifelong literary legacy of self-sabotage has just raised its ugly head! Whatever the case, the Tomorrow Trunk needs a good dusting, so here I am.
January 26th, 2014 marked the official three-month countdown to the wedding of the year ~ at least for this family. We have made decisions about favors, food and flowers. We have mailed the save-the-dates and set the dates for alterations, brunches and showers. We have guarded our top secret Pinterest boards and emailed contracts back and forth as though a major corporation were in the process of a classified merger, rather than a man and a woman getting married. Over a period of six months, the father of the bride has gone from "the cotton-pickin' wedding" to "the confounded wedding" ~ which, to be fair, is due in part to hour-long telephone conversations during Saturday morning breakfasts and Sunday afternoon naps. Although he came very close when we hired the photographer ~ which he described as a loan shark ~ he hasn't uttered a single curse word or been arrested (as of this posting on February 12th). He even told someone who called his phone because I didn't answer mine, that I was busy and would call back later. His exact words: "I think she and Katie are pinning ideas for the wedding." Priceless! He doesn't even know what "pinning" is! Haha!
Despite daily deposits, the Tomorrow Trunk has gotten a little dusty during this period. Whenever I write a post, it's like company's coming ~ a time to tidy up, tuck away and take out something special. My system of saving stories is similar to the way my grandmother stored her linens. Whenever an out-of-town relative was spending the night, she would say, "Get out those embroidered pillowcases." Or if it was her time to feed the preachers, she instructed us to "pull out that lace tablecloth, iron it, and place it on the table in the dining room ~ not the kitchen table." I don't know if anyone ever rated high enough for her collection of handmade doilies, which was such a missed opportunity to share her delicate artistry.
So...I dust of the top of the trunk and lift the lid. Four items of interest immediately capture my attention ~ all are quotes that belong to other people. One quote was spoken to me by my new branch manager, Mr. Matt Purvis. The second quote came from Ms. Peggy Kelly during her workshop at our system's annual Staff Development Day. The third quote came to me from Brody, a four-year-old library patron who might just be the future super hero of libraries everywhere. The fourth and final quote came from a discussion between sweet little Sophia and her insightful older brother Levi. Both children attend library story time with baby sister, Lillian, and baby yet-to-be-determined.
Passion is not the same thing as ambition. Matt Purvis, Branch Manager
The first quote came from a discussion that Matt and I were having about my perceived collapse of ambition. I told him that I just wasn't concerned about climbing the ladder anymore or being the brightest star of the nine-to-five galaxy. I convincingly pointed out that my kids are successful, my husband and I are happy, and I am ready to fade into the background. I prevailed upon him to appreciate my argument for ambiguity and to agree with my case for aloofness...which he most certainly did not. Quite the opposite!
Passion is not the same thing as ambition, Ms. Dianne. I don't think you have to have ambition to have passion. The motives are not the same. To me, ambition is more of a focus on me and what I want to achieve. Passion is more of a focus on others and what I have to give. At various times in our lives, both are important; however, I don't believe that you have to be ambitious to live passionately.
WOW! What a good dusting from someone who is twenty years my junior! One of my most treasured finds is a book entitled The Cinderella Complex written by Collette Dowling in 1981. The book addresses all the issues that women face as they fully embrace the "happily ever after" idealism of a saving prince and a protected life within the walls of a castle. This safe retreat is often an alternative accepted by women "to avoid the strain involved in undertaking an authentic existence", according to French author Simone de Beauvoir, who wrote The Second Sex.
Passion is anything but passive, even though it may be perceived that way by others. Passion is an active undertaking that is often defined by both strain and authenticity. According to Dowling, women in all stages of life seek the flight from stress, but in doing so they also take a flight from self. They trade in their brilliance and creativity for mediocrity and complacency. Eventually, this lack of passion costs women their raison d'etre ~ reason for existence. Dowling writes, "I call this "The Cinderella Complex" ~ a network of largely repressed attitudes and fears that keep women in a kind of half-light, retreating from the full use of their minds and creativity."
The wicked step-sisters were ambitious ~ to be sure ~ but Cinderella was courageously vulnerable. Even at those times when we experience collapse or conflict, we must remember what was and is "royal" about our existence. Therein lies our truest definition of passion.
More good dusting happened during a workshop at last Friday's Staff Development Day. Ms. Peggy Kelly presented an eye-opening session entitled "Walk a Mile In My Shoes", in which she addressed library service issues involving children and adults with mental disabilities. She began her presentation with this quote:
Everyone has a difficulty; when it impacts your life, it becomes a disability.
Using a photo of her family, she stated that each of the five people had a difficulty; however, not one of them had allowed his/her difficulty to become a disability. "We may be quick to identify someone as 'those people' or 'that person' with evident mental or physical challenges; however, we are sometimes hesitant to identify similar difficulties within our own lives. In many circumstances, our rituals and habits have a profound impact on our daily lives and result in severe disabilities because of our tendency to look the other way."
Anyone dread deep dusting as much as I do? I see a person rapidly fanning or flapping their hands when presented with a challenging situation, and I immediately acknowledge a mental disability; however, I am presented with a challenging situation, and I eat a box of cereal. If I don't lose twenty pounds, I won't be able to fit into my mother-of-the-bride dress. If I don't stop eating so much sugar, I could become diabetic. If I don't exercise more, I might become at-risk for heart disease. But, hey...just a few minor difficulties, not a major disability. Right? I could dust here for days; maybe I need my own pair of white gloves.
A good dusting continues with another item in the trunk. My favorite library patron in this world is a four-year-old boy named Brody ~ my super hero of the local children's library! When Brody visits the library, he is on a mission ~ today, wrestling books; tomorrow, Mo Willems' books (every single one in the system); next week, penguins and polar bears. Children's librarians beware! Don't even think for minute that you can brush off a request from this little library champion. If you say the books will be here next week, he WILL remember (even if you forgot). One day, he and his grandma were reading The Three Little Pigs at the children's table. His grandmother read, "The first little pig decided to build his house of straw...." Brody pops the side of his head with his palm and interrupts with this quote:
Now that little pig oughta know that's never gonna work. What was he thinking?
I just laughed out loud. A four-year-old knows a hare-brained (or in this case, pig-brained) idea when he hears one. If only we grown-ups could so easily recognize a crazy idea! But, hey...he was the first pig out of the gate. Maybe the second pig upgraded the wacky idea of straw to only slightly silly with his choice of sticks. The third pig, however, learned the lessons of his family foibles and headed straight for the bricks! I so want to be the third pig before I die! By now, I oughta know what is never gonna work! Sometimes I just have to wonder out loud, "What was I thinking?" I can always expect some degree of clean-up afterwards ~ that's for sure! I have been very fortunate to have missed the teeth of the wolf more than once!
And now, for the all important finale, the piece de resistance, the Liquid Gold Furniture Polish! This quote came to me via a conversation posted on Facebook. The conversation is between two of of the most delightful children ever, and I just had to re-post it on my blog:
Sophia: "Is it valentine's day? Is it heart day? Is it God day?"
Levi: Sheesh, girl! You don't know much about life. You wake up everyday, and it's a day! A day! A day! A day!"
NO WORDS. It's a day! A day! A day! A day! The Tomorrow Trunk is all about a day ~ one single, solitary day! We just take the best of today ~ this one day ~ tuck it away and keep it for tomorrow! I never want to miss Valentine's day or heart day or God day! I don't know much about life, but I do know you wake up everyday, and it's a day! A day!
Sheesh, girl! Dust yourself off! It's a day!
A day!
Dianne ; )
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