Friday, January 11, 2013

Just Right

I have places where all my stories begin.

That is the first line of an essay entitled "Knowing Our Place" written by Barbara Kingsolver.  The essay is taken from a compilation written by various Southern women – a book called All Out of Faith edited by Wendy Reed and Jennifer Horne.  I want to be sure that my works cited is out of the way, because if there has ever been one ounce of plagiarism in my heart, it is for this sentence.  

I have places where all my stories begin.

I do have places where all my stories begin.  I have such an appreciative sense of place when it comes to telling stories; I just want to soak it all in.  As a young child, my first impressions of place were always linked to permanence.  My grandparents’ home, my parents’ home, all of my aunts and uncles and neighbors’ homes – these places represented permanence to me.   Everyone I knew lived in the same houses and owned the same land until they died, so much so that the houses were actually named for their owners.   

But for me, finding that permanent place has been more like the children's tale of Goldilocks and the three bears.  I first thought about how I identify with that story when I read an article in Cottage Living April 2008.  The article was focused on a trend called 'pocket neighborhoods' and one of the architects – Ross Chapin – made this statement about finding 'the sweet spot' of home design: When it’s just right, there is a resonance.  It’s what Goldilocks was searching for.

So…I decided to read the original children’s story again. As I perused various internet articles, I learned that the original nursery tale dates back to the early 1800’s.  In the earliest version, the intruder was a she-fox, who was later replaced by a hag-like woman.  Over the years, the silver hair of the ugly old woman was transferred to a younger protagonist, and finally changed to golden hair – thus, Goldilocks.  While versions vary, we do know that Goldilocks was in search of the comforts of home and these comforts had to be just right.

On a literary level, the story uses the rule of three.  In his book, The Seven Basic Plots: Why We Tell Stories, author Christopher Booker calls it the "dialectical three...where the first is wrong in one way, the second in another or opposite way, and only in the third, in the middle, is just right.  This idea that the way forward lies in finding an exact middle path between opposites is of extraordinary importance in storytelling."

Unlike most fairy tales, the uniqueness of this story is that it offers no resolution.  Goldilocks runs back into the forest (the wild place) and never returns to the bears’ house (the civilized place) again, which is an ironic contradiction in itself.  No matter the outcome, we still have a place where the story begins.

My own search for just right has led me to homes that were too big, too small, too hot, too cold, too old, and too new.  And yet, I found something just right in every single place; I found story.  To date, we have yet to find that just right perfect ending, but we have found places where all our stories begin.  Some of today’s big stories are so simple, but when they are examined years later for their hidden lessons, they are profound.

Back to the beginning…In her essay, Barbara Kingsolver writes the following: Whether we are leaving it or coming into it, it’s here that matters, it is place.  Whether we understand where we are or don’t, that is the story: To be here or not to be.

In the earlier version of The Three Bears, the old woman took three actions: She looked in at the window, then she peeped in at the keyhole, and seeing nobody at home, she lifted the latch. At that point, I’m in for the rest of the story, no matter where it leads or how it ends. Once I am here (place), I have to be here (story).  If the process is too hard, too soft or just right…it’s all part of knowing my place.

When I was little girl and my grandma read me stories, I never closed my eyes or fell asleep; I didn’t want to miss a single thing.  I would ask her to read the same story over and over again, but I never understood why.  Now, I do.  At some point during the narrative, I knew the story so well that I lifted the latch.  No more looking in or peeping in, I walked inside the place where the story began.  

Sometimes, I think we are so busy trying to find the place that is just right that we live outside our own stories as they are being told.  We may catch an occasional glimpse or peep into the narrative of who we are, but we never know the place where our stories begin. 

Thank you, Ms. Kingsolver, for your fourteen published books, and for one completely coveted first line that's just right. 

Dianne ; )

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