My Last Best Nest, Part Two

In all the places we lived, my husband cleared thousands of hedge bushes. While most men jumped on a big machine and leveled rows of unwanted hedge in an afternoon, he carefully removed them with his own sheer strength and determination ~ one by one ~ which usually took years.  On the Hundred Acre Farm, he cleared hedges for four years, until the property paralleled a manicured golf course.  He cut away hedges from around ponds, along fence lines, and underneath trees; but, the one thing I remember most about all that hedge labor was the gift of the bird nests.

After a long day of clearing hedge, David would always meet me at the campsite situated by one of the three ponds on the property.  On hot summer days, we sat underneath the shade trees and shared ice cold water, sweet tea, and big dreams.  On cold winter days, we warmed by a fire of hickory and oak with a cup of coffee and hot chocolate.  After a short break, he was anxious to show me what he had accomplished during the day.   Then he would say, almost as an afterthought, "Oh yeh, I found you something."

Sometimes he pulled it out of his coat, or laid it on the dashboard or tailgate of his truck, or left it on a fence post for me to find at the cleared area. The something was a bird's nest in perfect condition, completely unharmed by the removal process.  My husband knew that I embraced the fact that the even the smallest of homes was regarded during his painstaking enterprise.  The bird's nest was his way to impress...and it always worked ~ every single time.

Upon observation, I could tell that each nest was literally "a graphic mirror of the bird's mind."  No two nests were ever just alike.  The larger nests looked like baskets ~ crude, flat, and loosely woven with twigs. These nests barely held together once removed from the branches that supported them.  Other nests resembled tiny crocheted cup holders.  These detailed nests were composed of grasses, horse hair, feathers, mosses, lichen, and various gathered materials.  Each component was intertwined and fused together with such heart and soul, that the nest itself could not be torn apart.  The attention to detail and the appointed placement of each necessary furnishing rivaled any perfectly staged home.  These miniature prototypes set the standard for my last best nest.

So...my husband and I set out on a nest-making mission.  First, we made a list of the utilitarian must-haves for our last best nest.  We both wanted a cozy nest that's big enough for two with a wood-burning fireplace. We wanted three porches: a front porch for rocking, a screened-in or sleeping porch for reading and resting, and a back porch for reminiscing.  I requested a dedicated library for all my books, and David listed a separate tool shed/garage.  Neither of us wanted another two-story house with stairs to climb.  Perhaps, most importantly, we desired a natural habitat which provided concealment and privacy...just like the tiny bird nest hidden in the hedge.

After months of scavenging, we found our last best nest ~ Southern Living's Banning Court. The only missing component was the separate two-car garage/tool shed, which could be easily attached.

One, two, three porches...a fireplace...a library (now who can believe that!)...one story ~ room for two. Thanks to Pinterest, I have pinned 177 ideas on My Last Best Nest board to date.  Check it out!  

http://pinterest.com/dmclaurin59/my-last-best-nest/

As my husband and I looked at possibilities for the garage attachment, he could sense my excitement.  The male just knows that the female loves to build nests!  He smiled and said,"Well, maybe I can impress you one last time with a perfect little nest."

And to some good angel leave the rest ~ to be continued...

Dianne ; )

My Last Best Nest, Part One

TODAY'S BIG STORY:  Even if it is empty, your last nest should be your best nest! For the past few days, I have been studying the concept of an 'empty nest'.  My three small children are three grown adults, my house is empty, and my calendar is blank. Every member of my family is now gainfully employed, with one exception:  ME.  My hectic life that was filled with constant interruptions is now hushed, and the all-consuming days of continual sowing and gathering have, at last, yielded a grateful harvest and an empty nest. 

Caliology is the study of birds' nests, and the subject is fascinating! According to a book entitled Birds' Nests: An Introduction to the Science of Caliology, "the bird's nest is the most graphic mirror of a bird's mind."  What an amazing thought!  I have had an endearment for birds' nests since I was a little girl growing up in the country.  On Sunday afternoons after lunch, my aunt would take the nieces and nephews on a 'hike', as she termed it.  We would walk past my grandpa's sheds, which provided a craftsman's lesson in primitive and resourceful nest-building.  First we passed a combination wash house/smoke house.  Then we usually made a stop at Grandpa's tool shop and the feed crib. We also passed a potato bank, which was actually built on the side of an embankment and served as a storm pit during bad weather.  Behind the potato bank was a chicken house where the chickens roosted at night.

When we arrived at the bottom of the sloped pasture, we meandered around a huge oak tree onto a small cattle lane.  We walked over a shallow creek and around a densely wooded area ~ always watching for snakes.  The purpose of the expedition was to find something interesting to discuss and hopefully bring home.  I remember finding wild violets, fossilized rocks, and bird feathers.  We studied animal tracks, and we identified trees by their leaves; however, when we spotted a bird's nest, the trip was golden.  Of course, we were never allowed to touch a nest.  Aunt Hilda warned us that the mother bird would not return to a nest that had been touched by human hands; and, as young children, we believed every word Aunt Hilda said.

In the Birds' Nests book, written in 1902 by Charles Dixon, I discovered too many quotes to post; however, this quote is one of my favorites:  "There are, perhaps, few things in nature more exquisitely pretty than the nests of certain birds; not only do these structures appeal to us through their beauty, but still more so through the creative mind of the little architects that build them." 

And yet, despite all their beauty, birds' nests are built for utilitarian purposes only.  "When once these purposes are served, the nest, no matter how elaborate or beautiful it may be or the immense amount of labour it may have cost its owners, is forthwith deserted, either forever or only used again when the recurring necessities of reproduction require it."  How we humans identify with the patterns of our winged counterparts.  I have traveled so many rural highways which are dotted by architectural masterpieces ~ beautiful decaying family homes which have been deserted by their owners because the utilitarian purpose of child-rearing had passed. "Like the gaudy chrysalis or cocoon, and notwithstanding its beauty, which has served but a secondary and quite unappreciated purpose, it is discarded and left to inevitable decay, its owners taking no interest in it whatever."

I fully understand the portion of the quote, "only used again when the recurring necessities of reproduction require it."  When our son ~ the youngest of our three children ~ graduated from high school, my husband and I decided to sell the big house.  Right about the same time, Zoe, our corgi, had seven puppies.  The family that was interested in the big house had five small children under the age of nine. They had found their perfect nest.  Not only did the family want to buy our house, they also wanted Zoe's puppies.  By the time we closed on the sell of the house, the puppies were old enough to be separated from their mother.  Just days before we moved, we carried our corgi to the local vet to have her spayed.  On the morning of moving day, Zoe and I were watching the sunrise one last time from our front porch perch.  She was resting at my feet, and I noticed her scar.  All those "recurring necessities of reproduction" that had been required of us were passed, and we were both relaxed and relieved.

Birds' nests are usually built for two purposes:  laying eggs and raising young birds. The bird's nest is a place of incubation (warmth), protection, and instruction.  The momma bird in me is confident that each one of our many nests has provided some, if not all, of the above.  In our nesting attempts, we built brand new nests, refurbished the nests of others, and even returned to our old nests ~ twice.  But now, my nest is empty.  All of my little birds have nests of their own making in habitats of their own choosing.

According to Wikipedia, the ability to choose and maintain good nest sites and build high quality nests is a female thing among most bird species.  I know this is true for most humans as well.  My two daughters searched out their nesting sites and have taken great care in building their first nests.  They have chosen awesome paint colors, restored furniture, purchased just-the-right accessories, and created their very own HGTV-worthy nests; however, my son rents a third-floor nest which includes a couch that folds out into a bed, two stools at the bar (actually one is still in the box), a television stand, and a 42" plasma television.  In some species, the male helps with nest construction as part of the courtship display, but only for the attention of the female.  Where there is no courtship, the male bird is content with the most rudimentary nest, and in most cases, does not make even the slightest provision for nest building.  Sounds like a third-story Matt-cave!

But what's a momma bird to do with an empty nest? Finding the answer to that question was difficult.  Nests that are not specifically used for breeding are called 'dormitory nests or roost nests (winter-nest)' and are used 'only for roosting or resting'.  I think a know the human equivalent to dormitory nests, and I am not interested just yet.  I want a winter-nest ~ a roost nest ~ a nest for sitting, reading, resting, lodging, and sleeping.

In his poem It Is Not Always May, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote the following:

Enjoy the Spring of Love and Youth,

To some good angel leave the rest;

For Time will teach thee soon the truth,

There are no birds in last year's nest!

With the help of some good angel, I am ready to build my last best nest

 ~ to be continued...

Dianne ; )

A Beautiful Way To Bounce

TODAY'S BIG STORY:  My daughter, Katie, starts her new employment as a Corporate Communications Specialist today!  With a bachelor's degree in Communication and an emphasis in Public Relations, she describes this position as her "dream job."  I still remember the first big story I wrote about her ~ Katie's Lazy Daisy ~ when she was five-years-old.  Twenty years have passed since I tucked that story away in The Tomorrow Trunk.  So unbelievable!  Also, after years of apartment life, she moved into her first home this past weekend.

On Thursday of last week, Katie called me in a panic!  The human resources department had not received verification of her employment as a flight attendant.  According to Katie, the airlines had outsourced employment verification, and the company was not responding to her potential employer's requests.  Katie stressed that she could not start her new job without that information! She said the HR representative just needed W2 forms for proof of employment. Katie asked me if I would look in her big keepsake box and try to find her airlines folder.  After a few minutes of digging, I found the W2 forms and other employment documentation which I immediately faxed to Katie and she faxed to HR.  She called me about an hour later to inform me that she had been given a start date of October 15th for orientation and October 16th as her first day in her own designated corner of the corporate world.

I slowly began the process of packing everything back into the box when I found a letter I had written to her in 2006.  She was nineteen years old at the time and had just started working as a flight attendant in Memphis.  For some reason, she had saved two printed copies, so I kept one copy for me.  I sat on the floor beside her big keepsake box and started reading:

Katie,

I am reading a book by Kay Redfield Jamison called Exuberance: The Passion for Life.  I picked it up simply because I have read a lot of her books.  As I was reading it, I realized that I was reading about you.  You were created to be exuberant.  You are a Tigger.  You just want life to be a series of bounces ~ each one higher than the last. That's why you have had to work so hard at overcoming all of the unfortunate situations that happened to you last year.  You are not a moper like Eyeore or a worrier like Rabbit or timid like Piglet.  You are exuberant ~ over the top ~ sometimes, a little too much for everyone around you!  I think Aimee is your Pooh.  She recognizes your need to be a little "off the chart", and she really tries to protect those characteristics of your personality.

I also checked out a couple of the Pooh books and read about Tigger.  In one particular story, Eyeore is talking about Tigger's bouncing, after it surprises him and causes him to slip off into the pond.  "I don't mind Tigger being in the Forest, because it is a large Forest, and there is plenty of room to bounce in it.  But I don't see why he should come into my little corner of it and bounce there.  It isn't as if there was anything wonderful about my little corner.  Of course, for people who like cold, wet, ugly bits, it is something rather special, otherwise, it's just a corner, and if anybody feels bouncy, they don't belong there."

Rabbit feels sorry for Eyeore and decides that Tigger really is too bouncy.  "It is time we taught him a lesson.  There is too much of him, that's what it comes to."
Piglet defends Tigger.  "He just is bouncy...that's who he is and he can't help it."
But Rabbit convinces Piglet that his plan is for Tigger's own good.  "That's what we are trying to do is think of a way to get the bounces out of Tigger."

So (you probably should just read the book), Rabbit concocts a plan for Piglet, Pooh, and Rabbit to take Tigger to a place he has never been before, to lose him, and then find him again the next morning.  Rabbit assures Pooh and Piglet that he will be a different Tigger altogether.  "He will be a Humble Tigger, a Sad Tigger, a Small and Sorry Tigger, an Oh-Rabbit-I-am-so-glad-to-see-you-Tigger. He will be deflated, unbounced, newly appreciative, and cut down to size:  IF WE CAN MAKE TIGGER FEEL SMALL AND SAD FOR JUST FIVE MINUTES, WE SHALL HAVE DONE A GOOD DEED.  HE IS FAR TOO FULL OF HIMSELF."

But, instead of Tigger losing his way in the Forest, it is Rabbit, Pooh, and Piglet who get lost.  Not realizing that they had meant to play a trick on him, Tigger bounces to Rabbit's rescue.  The rest of the story goes like this:  Tigger was tearing around the Forest making loud yapping noises for Rabbit.  And at last, a very Small and Sorry Rabbit heard him.  The Small and Sorry Rabbit rushed through the midst towards the noise, and it suddenly turned into Tigger; a Friendly Tigger, a Grand Tigger, a Large and Helpful Tigger, a Tigger who bounced in just the beautiful way a Tigger ought to bounce.  "Oh-Tigger-I-am-so-glad-to-see-you," cried Rabbit.

In the end of the story, after things calm down, Piglet says, "Tigger is all right really."
"Of course he is," said Christopher Robin.
"Everybody is really," said Pooh.  "That's what I think."

Katie, you were born to bounce!  You are exuberant.  That is not the same thing as happy or joyful; it is a different emotion that is born in certain people.  That is why, all of your life, you have hated the boring or routine.  You keep calling it "being original"; however, it is more than that.  Exuberance is excessive, extreme, abundant...and annoying at times, especially to the small, sad, and sorry.  According to the book, you are the kind of person who gallops at full speed for two hundred miles, and then stops and says, "Where am I?"

Only two things challenge exuberance ~ rules or boundaries and exhaustion.  Sometimes the exuberant person just wears himself out; that is why when you aren't bouncing, you're sleeping. And most likely, a person with exuberance gets put into a place where exuberance is not acceptable.  If he stays in that place long enough, he loses his bounce.  You have just moved from a small town where bouncing is not allowed and where any allowable exuberance is confined or judged.  Maybe there are just too many Eyeores in that place who like it that way.  What you have to do is keep looking until you find a Large Forest with lots of room.

Don't lose your bounce, Kates! Be careful of Rabbits, and Piglets, and Eyeores.  These are the ones who 'want to get the bounces out.'  Not only have I conformed to those individuals, I have been one.  But, I assure you, the thing I miss most about you when you are not here is your bounce ~ that's the wonderful thing about Tiggers.

MOM

So today, Katie enters a Large Forest.  She may feel a little lost for the first few days, but she is a Friendly Katie.  She is a Grand Katie and a Large and Helpful Katie. She is a Katie who bounces in just the beautiful way a Katie ought to bounce.  And when she returns to my little corner, that's the Katie I'll be Oh-so-glad-to-see.

Dianne ; )